Bad principles and mediocrity

#1 Do whatever you feel like doing and whenever you feel like it.

#2 Don’t care about what others think about you.

The second principle protects the first. And both of them lead to mediocrity.

I was doing laundry the other day and realized that I haven’t bought any new clothes in the last¬†3-4 years, except for underwear and shoes. That sounds weird, even to myself. That doesn’t sound like “I don’t care what others think”. It’s very much in the “I don’t take care of myself” territory.

I don’t use social media. I don’t even post half the things I do here, in this anonymous blog. Do I really not seek validation because I think I’m better than everyone? Nope, just checked, I feel like a piece of shit.

I religiously give half a month’s paycheck (~4.17%)¬† to charity every year. But I would never mention a word of that to anyone in real life or participate in any social charity events at workplace. All that matters is that I know that I did some good. But I bet you, people at my workplace think I’m a stingy heartless guy for not participating in their charity events.

I go to work at 12 PM almost everyday. Some days, I work for three hours and leave home. My job is pretty easy and always gets done on time. My manager doesn’t mind. I have taken 29 “work from home” days this year alone. Could I put in my actual 8 hours a day and climb the ladder faster? maybe. Is it worth it? absolutely not.

Being dirt poor, all I wanted ten years ago was to finally relax and have some money to splurge on food and gadgets. I worked hard for that and I have it now. Why should I not take the time to enjoy what I wanted in the first place? Why do I need to always run this race, this never ending quest to get to a better place?. I’m 27 and watch anime while stuffing my face. That’s what this man-baby currently equates to “living in the moment”. And that’s Ok.

After putting in few hundred hours, I’m now a mediocre guitar player. I can play a dozen fingerstyle songs from the top of my mind, but with mistakes. I occasionally spend ten hours learning a new song and just when I get to playing it properly, I quit the song and move on to the next one. I’ve been thinking, maybe if I just posted guitar videos online and craved for validation, I may have put in the extra effort and become a better guitar player.

Being mediocre sucks. I really need to start kicking ass.